


ain't no lie, baby, TIE TIE TIE

by SmonksTheMuse



Series: TIE Vader [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, I can't believe I made the title a reference to an NSYNC song, Prompt Fic, TIE Vader, if Star Wars has the holonet (which is basically the internet) then Star Wars has memes, that's just how it is sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-09
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-09-07 12:14:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8800441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmonksTheMuse/pseuds/SmonksTheMuse
Summary: Prompt from Pomrania on tumblr: "Re TIE Vader: does the general public (or anyone other than Palpatine) know that it's Vader in there, or do they think it's some random pilot, a rogue AI, or what?"





	

It took the holonet by storm in mere hours.

How someone could be foolish enough to  _leak Imperial battle footage_ , Palpatine didn’t know. But the recording of the Empire’s most recent attempt to capture Vader (whom the public had, until now, believed to be a rogue AI system with a very unfortunate glitch) had gone viral, and the number of people who had seen it only continued to climb.

Palpatine himself had watched it several times now, still somewhat in shock at how quickly this ‘TIE-Vader’ situation had deteriorated.

The video was mainly a view of a TIE Advanced, hovering in space before the just-visible nose of a Super Star Destroyer, surrounded by lesser TIES.

A few seconds in, though, the audio began.

 _“Lord Vader,”_  said the ship’s admiral,  _“please, surrender yourself peacefully. We do not wish to engage you.”_

 _“I should think not, Admiral.”_  There was Vader, the sound of his mechanical breath unmistakable, baritone voice somewhat tinny through the ship-to-ship commlink.

 _“Please, Lord Vader, you must return to the fleet,”_  the man implored.  _“You must know you cannot survive with your body wired to a_ TIE fighter _. You-”_

 _“This body is the pinnacle of perfection,”_  Vader snarled. “ _If you choose to engage me, Admiral, you will wish you had not.”_

The back-and-forth went on, eventually ending when Vader turned and took off, not even allowing the admiral to finish his sentence. The video cut out soon after.

Palpatine ground his teeth together, feeling the headache he’d had for the past two weeks flare.

There were few things that the Emperor of All the Galaxy could not control; the holonet was one of those things.

If there had ever been a chance at stopping the video’s spread, it was long since gone. The recording had already been elevated to what was known in youth culture as “meme status”. And if Palaptine’s information was correct, fitness enthusiasts had made “this body is the pinnacle of perfection” into a popular shirt slogan.

Sheev Palpatine was well on his way to having yet  _another_  aneurysm.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic and others can be found on my tumblr: vintage-smokestack.tumblr.com


End file.
